Things that bring joy

It’s been forever since I’ve written about my fight with the limp. There’s some reasons for that. I’ve been losing the fight on an almost daily basis – my binge eating has escalated; my walking/exercising has dropped inversely; my weight has gone way up. One of the books on binge eating I read said that to help battle the urge to do oneself damage by overeating, one should do something that brings joy once a day. That made me stop and think – what brings me joy? That’s such a strong word and a strong emotion. I seem to prefer keeping my emotions on a more even keel; I’m fearful of the repercussions that feeling and expressing strong emotions often bring. Since that’s not natural, it’s probably why I’m often so cranky, impatient and quick tempered (at least it’s part of it). Negative emotions come more natural to me. This leaves me, of course. failing at yet another thing. And it still leaves me at the question: what brings me joy? Pure, unmitigated joy? I don’t know. Until I do, maybe I can start with things that at least make me smile…

My 2nd to last day in NYC, I roamed around in Brooklyn taking pictures. I ended up mainly going places I’d been to before and mainly taking pictures of the standard tourist items. I was frustrated with myself for sticking to such a tried and true path. On the way back to my friend’s apartment, I took a wrong turn. Instead of turning back to my usual road, I just went with it. I passed a garage with one of those “help you see the street as you are pulling out” kind of big mirrors outside it. I thought it looked interesting. But I was worried about time (I needed to get a late lunch/early dinner and then make it to the tennis in Queens on time), so I kept walking. After a few steps, however I stopped, and went back. Stared at the mirror and door and took a picture that made me smile when I reviewed it on the screen. It made me smile more when I got home and looked at it on my computer.

I’m not sure I got “the” shot of it…but I got a shot and one that somewhat satisfies me. (That may not sound like much, but it is.)